How to Find a Couples Therapist in Toronto
Deciding that you’re ready to embark on a couples counselling journey is hard enough. But finding the right couples therapist who can meet your needs can sometimes feel even harder.
Living in a big city like Toronto, there are thousands of therapists to choose from. So how do you find the best couples counsellor for you?
Working with KMA Therapy since 2008, I’ve not only counselled couples myself, but had the pleasure of matching many couples to the right therapist for them.
This step-by-step guide will give you everything you need to know about finding a couples therapist in Toronto so you can get started working on what’s important to you right away.
To help answer this question, we’ll dive into:
- Qualities that the right couples therapist for you will have
- Which type of couples therapy do you need?
- Where exactly to go to find the therapist for you
By the end of this article, you’ll have a roadmap to finding the best couples therapist for you.
Qualities the Right Couples Therapist for you Will Have
Experienced in the Issues You’re Dealing With
Whether it’s infidelity, sex, communication, fertility issues, adoption issues, etc - the right couples therapist for you will have experience in the area of concern for you.
Ideally, they have worked with many other couples in your scenario and can ensure you make the progress you need.
Able to Gain BOTH Partners’ Trust and Respect
The right couples therapist for you will be able to communicate WHY they are the right fit for you and earn the trust and respect of both partners.
Some partners prefer to ask the therapist many questions about their credentials, experience, and education, while other parties care more about vibes. All are completely valid, and the right therapist will be able to make you BOTH feel comfortable with their answers.
Provide Neutral Feedback to Both of You
A great couples therapist will never take sides, but will rather form alliances with both of you individually and use your unique communications styles to work together to solve problems.
Both You AND Your Partner Like Them
It’s really important that, right from the get-go, you and your partner BOTH have a good feeling about them. This is going to be an environment where both people need to receive feedback, work through problems, and be vulnerable.
Check in with your partner to ensure that they are also vibing with the therapist.
Choosing the right couples therapist based on my needs
There’s been infidelity:
Toronto has many great therapists who work with infidelity - whether it was by one partner, both partners, emotional or physical, recent or long in the past.
The truth is that MOST couples counsellors have experience with infidelity as it’s one of the most common reasons couples seek therapy The type of couples therapist you’ll likely want to search if you’re dealing with infidelity is:
- A psychologist who specializes in couples and/or infidelity issues
- A psychotherapist who specializes in couples and/or infidelity issues
- A social worker who specializes in couples and/or infidelity issues
- A counsellor in who specializes in couples and/or infidelity issues
You want to improve communication:
Most couples counsellors are well versed in the area of communication. If you’re experiencing difficulty communicating, you may have a partner who uses the silent treatment, has a different attachment style (such as anxious/avoidant), or uses a different love language.
If you need support in creating and enforcing boundaries or renegotiating aspects of your relationship, one of the following therapists are likely the right choice for you:
- A psychologist who specializes in couples and/or communication issues
- A psychotherapist who specializes in couples and/or communication issues
- A social worker who specializes in couples and/or communication issues
- A counsellor in who specializes in couples and/or communication issues
Your sex life needs help:
There are number of reasons your sex life might benefit from the help of a therapist.
These include lack of sexual interest in a long-term relationship, BDSM or kink in relationships, polyamorous or open relationships, sexual dysfunction such as erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation, or even just to bring your partner greater pleasure.
The best type of therapist for you in this case is:
- A sex therapist in private or group practice
One partner has a mental health issue:
A mental health issue doesn’t just affect an individual - it affects the whole family system including partners, children, parents, etc.
In addition to working with a therapist individually, couples therapy is a great way to work on how to support all parties. We recommend you find a:
- A Psychotherapist in private practice who specializes in mental health issues who does work with couples
- A social worker in private practice who specializes in mental health who also does work with couples
You’re doing IVF or having fertility issues:
If you’re going through IVF or having issues with fertility, it is very important to have a couples therapist who understands all aspects of this process, as it’s very specific.
The right therapist for you will have seen lots of other couples going through the same thing and will be able to provide a wealth of support:
- Psychotherapist with experience in fertility issues who also works with couples
- Counsellor with experience in fertility issues who also works with couples
You have a family issue, have adopted, or have an issue with a child:
It’s very normal for couples to have issues with their extended family, parents in law, elderly parents, or their own children. if you would like a diagnosis, seek out:
- Psychotherapist who is trained in Systemic Family Therapy
- Social Worker who is trained in Systemic Family Therapy
You’re getting married or newly married:
Getting married brings up many challenges and change for couples - not just before the wedding but in the 1-2 years after.
Getting pre-marital counselling is an excellent tool to help provide a foundation for your life ahead. Try to find:
- A psychologist who specializes in couples and/or premarital counselling
- A psychotherapist who specializes in couples and/or premarital counselling
- A social worker who specializes in couples and/or premarital counselling
- A counsellor in who specializes in couples and/or premarital counselling
You’re getting divorced or newly divorced:
Getting divorced is almost never easy - and getting therapy both individually and as a couple through the process can help smooth over changes, especially if the two parties need to continue communicating for children or extended family.
We recommend you find:
- A psychologist who specializes in couples and/or separation/divorce counselling
- A psychotherapist who specializes in couples and/or separation/divorce counselling
- A social worker who specializes in couples and/or separation/divorce counselling
- A counsellor in who specializes in couples and/or separation/divorce counselling
How exactly should I look for a couples therapist in Toronto?
Find a couples counsellor in your Toronto neighbourhood with Search:
Whether you live in Scarborough, Etobicoke, Lawrence Park or the Beaches, searching the type of couples therapist you need within your Toronto neighbourhood can help filter results. Consider a location that is convenient for both of you - whether that is between both of your workplaces, near to your home, or even online.
Review online directories like Psychology Today for Toronto couples therapists:
Online directories have thousands of couples therapists in Toronto to choose from. You can filter through many different criteria including experience, education, neighbourhood, gender, credentials and many more.
Find a therapy clinic you love and do an introductory session:
Most larger practices (10+ practitioners) have a good range of couples therapists to choose from. Doing an introductory session, you’ll be placed with the right fit for you based on credentials, experience, personality, and issues.
Ask your doctor for a Toronto therapist referral:
Your doctor may be connected to some great relationship therapists in the city. This is a great option if you’re seeking someone experienced, vetted, and/or that your doctor knows personally.
Next Steps for Couples Therapy in Toronto
Once you’ve found a few of the right potential couples counsellors for you, you may wish to contact a few to see if they’re accepting clients. You might find that a practice you liked has a waiting list or is no longer practicing, so having a few to start with can help.
Here at KMA Therapy, our team has a wide range of couples therapists with many areas of expertise, credentials, and personalities to choose from.
You’ll start with a 50-minute introductory session with a specialized introductory therapist at any of our 5 Toronto locations to find the best possible match within our practice.
Whether you work with us, or another therapy group, we encourage you not to give up in the search for the perfect therapist for you.
If you’re not yet ready to speak to a therapist, read these resources for more information:
- Wondering if therapy is even right for you? Check out our article Will Psychotherapy Help Me?
- Wondering how couples counselling can help? Read Will Couples Counselling Help My Relationship?
- Curious about the role attachments styles can play? Read How Does Your Attachment Style Affect Your Relationships?