Why You Might Be Ghosting Your Therapist (And What to Do About It)

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You booked the therapy sessions. You showed up (even early!). You started talking.
And then… poof — you disappeared.

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No email. No cancellation. Maybe even a few ignored reminder texts. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone.

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Therapy ghosting is real, and it doesn’t make you flaky or broken. But understanding why it happens can help you reconnect with your mental health journey — or start fresh in a way that actually works for you.

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Let’s unpack it (gently).

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👻 First: Yes, Ghosting Happens in Therapy — A Lot

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Just like dating, people ghost in therapy all the time.
The reasons aren’t always obvious — and they’re almost never about laziness or disrespect.

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You might ghost because:

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• You hit something emotionally hard and panicked
• Life got busy and therapy slid to the bottom of the list
• You didn’t vibe with your therapist but didn’t want to say it
• Progress felt too slow, or too fast
• You felt ashamed for missing one session… so you skipped the next… and the next

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Therapy brings up real stuff. Ghosting can be a self-protective reflex — even if it’s not what we really want.

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💭 So… Why Do We Do It?

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Let’s look at the deeper layers. Therapy ghosting often signals one (or more) of the following:

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🧠 1. Emotional Overwhelm

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You're starting to dig into real feelings — and it’s uncomfortable. So you do what your nervous system thinks is safest: avoid.

“Talking about that was harder than I expected. I’m just going to… not do that again.”

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🤐 2. Fear of Vulnerability

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Therapy requires openness — but if you’re not used to being seen, it can feel terrifying.

“What if they judge me?”
“What if I’m too much?”
“What if they get tired of me?”

Sometimes ghosting is just a pause we don’t know how to label.

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🙃 3. You Don’t Feel Safe or Understood

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Not every therapist is the right fit. Maybe they talked too much. Or didn’t ask the right questions. Or reminded you of your dad. It’s okay to leave a therapist — but disappearing might be a sign you weren’t sure how.

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⏰ 4. Life Happened

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You moved. You lost your job. Your schedule changed. When life goes sideways, therapy can feel like one more thing to manage — even if it’s something you need.

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✋ Okay But… Should I Go Back?

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Short answer: If something inside you is still wondering, the answer is probably yes.
Long answer: Go back when you’re ready — but don’t ghost yourself in the meantime.

Here’s what to do if you’ve ghosted your therapist (or just therapy in general):

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🛠️ What to Do If You’ve Ghosted Therapy

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1. Drop the Shame

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You’re not the first (or last) person to ghost a therapist. Therapists are trained to understand that people leave — and often, they welcome the opportunity to reconnect.

This isn’t a test you failed. It’s just a detour.

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2. Reach Out Honestly

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Send a short message. No long apology needed. Try:

“Hey — I stepped away from therapy for a bit. I’d like to come back if you have availability.”
“I ghosted — and I’m nervous to start again, but I want to.”

A good therapist will meet you where you’re at, not where you “should” be.

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3. Reflect on the Why

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Before you rebook, ask yourself:

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• Was the fit wrong?
• Was the pace too fast or too slow?
• Did I feel safe and heard?

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Understanding why you ghosted helps you return more intentionally — or find a new therapist better aligned with your needs.

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4. Try a Discovery Call

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If the old therapist wasn’t right, that’s okay. Many practices (like ours at KMA Therapy) offer free discovery calls to match you with someone new. Think of it like dating… but for emotional growth.

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🧠 What to Say If You Come Back

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Not sure how to talk about your therapy ghosting when you return? Try this:

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• “Last time I left, it was because things felt overwhelming. I’d like to move more slowly this time.”
• “I got scared when we started talking about ___ — I think that’s something I want to work through now.”
• “I wasn’t sure this was a good fit before, but I’d like to try again.”

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You don’t owe an essay. Just honesty.

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🚨 Signs It’s Time to Try Again

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You don’t have to hit rock bottom to go back to therapy. But here are some signs it might be time:

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• You’re spiraling or shutting down more than usual
• You’ve started repeating old patterns
• You almost reached out for help — but didn’t
• You keep wondering “Would therapy help?” (Spoiler: yes)

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The good news? You already know how it works. Now you get to re-enter with more clarity and self-compassion.

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🛋️ Therapy at KMA: A No-Judgment Zone

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Whether you ghosted last month or two years ago, we’re not here to guilt you — we’re here to welcome you back.

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At KMA Therapy, we offer:

• 15-minute discovery calls to match you with a therapist you’ll actually click with
• Virtual and in-person sessions (Yonge & Eglinton or anywhere in Ontario)
• Therapists who get it — because we’ve seen it all, and we still believe in you

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💬 TL;DR

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Ghosting your therapist doesn’t make you a bad client. It makes you human.

You’re allowed to pause. You’re allowed to come back. You’re allowed to ask for help again — even if you disappeared without saying goodbye.

And if you’re ready? We’re here.

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