The Best Self-Love Tips - Based on Your Love Language
With Valentine's Day right around the corner, love is in the air - and if you’re single, it can feel like love is getting thrown in your face.
But whether you're coupled up or single, this is a great time of year to focus on the most important type of love: Self-Love.
We hear so many self-love tips, from taking bubble baths to journal prompts. But how can you find something that will actually work for you?
Here at KMA, we're relationship experts. For over 14 years, we've helped our clients cultivate more love in their lives in a variety of forms.
After reading this article, you'll know what your love language is, how it can help you love yourself more, and the best self-love tips based on your unique love style.
Why is Self-Love so important?
As humans, we inherently want connection. You don't need to feel guilty for wanting a romantic relationship or feeling lonely when you see everyone else around you coupled up.
Self-love isn't meant as a replacement for love from other people, but it sets up a strong foundation for helping you feel more confident in yourself and your relationships.
Growing your sense of self-love can have many benefits for your emotional well-being.
Cultivating self-love can help you:
- Improve your mental health
- Feel more confident
- Minimize anxiety
- Reduce stress
You know self-love is important, but how can your love language help you grow it?
What is a Love Language?
A love language is a unique way you prefer to express and receive love.
We all express ourselves differently, and learning more about your love language can help you understand how to communicate your needs more clearly.
What are the five Love Languages?
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
- Quality Time
- Gift Giving
Don't know your love language? Read What’s Your Love Language for all the information you need.
The Best Self-Love Tips for Each Love Language
Reflecting on how you want others to love you can be a great way to identify how to better love yourself.
Words of Affirmation
If your love language is Words of Affirmations, you probably love to hear verbally how much someone loves you, what they value about you, and why they enjoy spending time with you.
Try: Writing a gratitude list of what you appreciate about yourself, creating an inventory of the things you're good at, writing affirmations like "I am happy and confident" and putting them where you can see them
Avoid: Speaking negatively about yourself or feeding a critical inner voice
Acts of Service
If your love language is Acts of Service, you probably enjoy it when others do things for you. A partner remembering to pick up your dry-cleaning on the way home or driving you to the airport can be as romantic as receiving a dozen roses.
Try: Signing up for a cleaning service, ordering dinner when you've had a long day, staying up to date on physical care (like doctors appointments or hair appointments), or creating time in your day to only focus on yourself
Avoid: Procrastinating on things you know will make you feel better (like tidying up your house or doing the dishes), prioritizing other people’s needs over your own
Physical Touch is often misconstrued as only being about sexual intimacy. In reality, if your love language is physical touch, you likely just want to be close to the people you love. Holding hands, cuddling, and forehead kisses can mean the world to you.
Try: Signing up for a massage, buying a weighted blanket, taking a warm bath with essential oils, exercising in ways that feel good to you
Avoid: Self-isolation, neglecting yourself physically, wearing uncomfortable clothes
If your love language is Quality Time, you love to be around other people. Whether you’re going on an errand with a loved one or a fancy date night, you’re happy to spend time with the person you love.
Try: Taking yourself on a date you’d enjoy (like going to get a coffee and then heading to a bookstore,) going to the movies solo, creating intentional time for hobbies you enjoy but don’t often get to do, practising mindfulness
Avoid: Spending too much time mindlessly scrolling on social media, cutting yourself off from friends and family when you feel stressed out
Gift-giving can often be misrepresented as materialistic, but if it’s your love language, you truly believe in the concept of “it’s the thought that counts.” If someone takes the time to get you a gift related to your interests, you don’t care how much (or little) it costs.
Try: Treating yourself at the end of the long day, investing in experiences or classes, buying things that you truly love
Avoid: Overspending, hanging on to things that no longer bring you joy (think Marie Kondo!)
If a lot of these activities sound good to you, that’s great.
Many of us have a combination of different love languages, and balancing out activities from each love language can help you achieve a well-rounded sense of self-love.
Next Steps to Self-Love
After reading this article, you now know about the importance of self-love and how each of the five love languages can help you achieve it.
Here at KMA Therapy, we know self-love is just as important as romantic love – we’ve been helping our clients build their self-love and self-compassion for over a decade. We’re here if you need some extra support on your self-love journey.
If you’re not yet ready to book an appointment, check out these resources to keep learning:
- To learn more about treating yourself with kindness, read: What is Self-Compassion - and 5 Ways to Build It
- To explore how to be present with yourself, read: What is Mindfulness - and How Can it Boost Your Well-being?
- To explore more ways to heal your relationship with yourself, read: Five Healing Ways to Re-Parent Your Inner Child