What is Emotional Attraction? (& 3 Ways to Be More Emotionally Attractive)

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Published Date|
March 30, 2024

What is Emotional Attraction? (& 3 Ways to Be More Emotionally Attractive)

You thought it was love at first sight - but once you got to know them, the sparks stopped flying.

Physical attraction can be a strong force in the beginning of a relationship, but if the emotional attraction isn’t there, you won’t be able to sustain the heat.

But what is emotional attraction - and why is it so important in a relationship?

Here at KMA Therapy, we’re relationship experts. We’re here to help answer all of your most pressing relationship questions and help you find the solutions you’ve been seeking.

After reading this article, you’ll know what emotional attraction is, what sets it apart from physical attraction, and three ways you can become more emotionally attractive.

What is Emotional Attraction?

Emotional attraction is a connection you feel toward another person based on inner characteristics, like their interests, personality, values you share, and a sense of understanding.

what is emotional attraction

Unlike physical attraction, which often relies on outer traits like someone’s appearance, emotional attraction goes deeper into a sense of who they are.

Strong emotional attraction can be incredibly compelling, leading to feelings of empathy, admiration, and deep affection.

How is Emotional Attraction Different from Physical Attraction?

While physical attraction often leads to the first “spark” you feel when meeting someone new, it’s not enough to sustain a deep relationship. 

On the other hand, emotional attraction may not be obvious right away, but it can deepen over time as you get to know someone better.

Both aspects are important to a relationship, and both are fluid, meaning they can change over time.

Someone might become more physically attractive to you as you become more emotionally attracted to them, and vice versa.

What is Emotional Availability?

Emotional availability is your ability to form deep connections, build trust, and connect to others on an emotional level.

Someone who is more emotionally available is often more emotionally attractive, since you’re able to really see who they are on the inside and get a clue into their inner world.

3 Ways to Become More Emotionally Attractive

If you feel like you struggle to connect with people on an emotional level or your relationships tend to focus more on the physical aspect of your connection, explore these three tips on how to become more emotionally attractive.

1. Be willing to be vulnerable

Have you ever had one of those late nights with a new friend where you’re both a little bit tired and end up sharing a lot about your lives?

These bonding experiences can be a solid foundation for great friendships - and they can be the building blocks for emotional attraction in a romantic relationship.

Don’t be afraid to let people know who you really are when getting to know them.

This doesn’t mean you need to unpack your traumas on a first date (and this usually isn’t a great idea - have you heard of a vulnerability hangover?) 

Being open and honest about the things that make you who you are - like your nerdy hobbies or your secret musical obsessions - is a great way to let people into your inner world and form deeper emotional connections.

Oftentimes, the things that you feel a bit self-conscious about can be the things that are most endearing to the people you’re getting to know.

2. Focus on what your partner wants and needs

Emotional attraction isn’t all about you - it’s also heavily dependent on how your partner feels about you.

Take the time to get to know them and understand what makes them feel safe, comfortable, and loved.

If you know their love language, plan a date focused around the things they really enjoy.

You’ll naturally become more emotionally attractive to people when you genuinely care about their needs and show up for them authentically.

3. Focus on self-awareness

You know yourself better than anyone else - which can be a blessing and a curse.

You might think you’re being an attentive listener because you’re hearing everything your partner says, but they see you looking off to the side during an important conversation.

Be conscious of how you communicate, both with your words and your actions.

Next Steps for Healthy Relationships

After reading this article, you know what emotional attraction is and how to become more emotionally attractive.

Here at KMA Therapy, our relationship therapists are here to help you form healthy and happy relationships. 

Register online to connect with our team or take our Attachment Styles Quiz to learn more about how you think, feel, and act in relationships.

If you’re not yet ready to book an appointment, explore these articles to learn more:

Author |
Emily Weatherhead
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