Self-Care Beyond Bubble Baths: What Therapists Really Recommend for Nervous System Regulation
When people hear the words “self-care”, most picture bubble baths, candles, face masks, and maybe a walk around the block. But for folks carrying trauma, chronic stress, or nervous system dysregulation, those surface-level comforts don’t always cut it.
True self-care — the kind that recalibrates your nervous system and restores your emotional bandwidth — looks a lot messier, quieter, and more intentional than the Pinterest boards would have you believe. And if you’ve ever felt like the usual advice didn’t quite touch what’s really going on inside, you’re not alone.
This is your invitation into the deeper, trauma-informed version of self-care: the one that’s less about aesthetics and more about regulation, repair, and reclaiming your sense of safety in your body.
What Is Nervous System Regulation?
Nervous system regulation refers to the ways your body and brain maintain balance between states of alertness and calm. Your nervous system is constantly monitoring your environment and internal signals, deciding whether you need to be on high alert, ready to respond to danger, or relaxed and at ease. Regulation is about keeping this system flexible—able to shift naturally between these states depending on what’s happening around you. When your nervous system is well-regulated, you can respond to stress without becoming overwhelmed and return to a sense of calm more easily.
Why Nervous System Regulation Matters
This balance isn’t just about feeling “relaxed” — it shapes everything you experience. Your nervous system is the command center for how you feel, think, and interact with the world. When it’s dysregulated, even simple things can become challenging. You might struggle to fall asleep because your brain is stuck in overdrive. Social interactions can feel draining or triggering. Decisions that once felt easy may now seem impossible.
For those who’ve experienced trauma, chronic stress, or have a sensitive nervous system, this dysregulation can become chronic. You might find yourself stuck in a state of hyperarousal—feeling anxious, restless, or easily irritated. Or you could be in hypoarousal—numb, exhausted, or disconnected from your surroundings. The goal of regulation isn’t to “force” calm but to create an environment where your body naturally feels safe enough to settle, so you can function with more ease and resilience.
The Self-Care Strategies You Won’t Find on Instagram
Forget what you’ve been told about bubble baths being the ultimate self-care move. Here’s what trauma-informed therapists actually recommend for nervous system regulation — practical, specific, and often overlooked tools you can start integrating today:
1. Vagus Nerve Stimulation (Without Equipment)
The vagus nerve acts as a major communication highway between your brain and body. Activating it can gently shift your nervous system out of fight-or-flight mode and toward rest-and-digest, calming your overall state.
A. Try humming softly to yourself for a few minutes daily, even without words. This simple vibration stimulates the vagus nerve and helps soothe tension. The sound waves ripple through your throat and chest, signaling safety to your system.
B. Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice pack against your chest for about 30 seconds. This sudden, controlled shock activates the parasympathetic nervous system and can interrupt racing thoughts or intense stress.
C. Lie down on your back and slowly move your eyes side to side without moving your head. This bilateral eye movement mimics REM sleep patterns and sends a safety signal to your brain, encouraging your body to relax.
2. Polyvagal-Informed “Anchoring Objects”
Rather than relying solely on mental grounding techniques, use physical items that your body learns to associate with calmness. This sensory regulation anchors your nervous system beyond just thoughts.
A. Keep a smooth stone in your pocket that you can rub when anxiety spikes. The texture grounds your attention and offers a discreet tactile cue to your body that you are safe.
B. Dab a particular essential oil onto a scarf or cloth you carry. The scent becomes a subtle, personal reminder of calm that you can access anywhere, helping interrupt anxious cycles.
C. Wear weighted accessories like a scarf or heavy jewelry, which provide gentle proprioceptive input. This subtle pressure helps steady your nervous system in overstimulating environments without drawing attention.
3. Body Doubling — Even Virtually
Being in the presence of someone with a regulated nervous system can naturally help calm your own. This concept, often used for productivity, works deeply on a nervous system level.
A. Arrange to FaceTime a friend while you both engage in quiet activities like reading or folding laundry. The shared presence, even without much conversation, offers mutual regulation.
B. Spend time near someone calm without feeling the pressure to perform or engage socially. Sometimes, just their steady breathing or relaxed posture is enough to soothe your nervous system.
C. Remember, your nervous system picks up on cues virtually as well as physically. Simply having a “body double” in your digital space can provide the same subtle reassurance as physical proximity.
4. Use a ‘Sensory Diet’ Approach
Borrowed from occupational therapy, a sensory diet involves a tailored set of sensory activities that help keep your nervous system balanced throughout your day.
A. Identify what sensory inputs help you feel grounded. It could be firm pressure, like weighted blankets or tight hugs, which provide comforting feedback to your nervous system.
B. Notice what alerts you when you’re shutting down — brisk walks, clapping your hands, or quick movements can help bring you back into presence before overwhelm deepens.
C. Pinpoint what soothes you when you’re overwhelmed, like soft fabrics against your skin or dim, warm lighting. Intentionally weaving these sensations into your routine supports ongoing regulation.
5. Establish “Transition Rituals”
Transitions can be destabilizing to your nervous system because they signal change, which often feels unsafe. Rituals provide your brain with cues that shifts in environment or activity are manageable.
A. Light a specific candle or incense when you clock out of work. The scent and flame become a sensory marker signaling your body to shift from work mode into rest.
B. Change into different clothes after stressful appointments or meetings. This simple action signals a change in role or context and allows your nervous system to adjust accordingly.
C. Take three minutes to stretch or sit quietly on the floor between social engagements. This pause creates space to decompress and recalibrate before entering new social situations.
6. Track Emotional Temperature, Not Just Moods
Instead of labeling your experience as “good” or “bad,” tuning into your nervous system’s arousal level helps you tailor your self-care in the moment.
A. Learn to recognize when you’re in shutdown or numb (levels 1-3), and use grounding techniques suited to gently bring you back to presence without overwhelm.
B. Notice when you feel settled and open (levels 4-6), and capitalize on this window by engaging in restorative activities that deepen calm.
C. When you sense agitation or hyperarousal (levels 7-10), respond with interventions designed to downshift and release excess energy before it escalates.
7. Introduce Safe Touch, Even When Alone
Touch is a powerful regulator, but many don’t realize you can offer yourself safe, soothing touch that recalibrates your nervous system.
A. Gently cup your own face or hold your jaw to provide reassuring, predictable contact. This kind of touch can signal safety when human contact isn’t available.
B. Press your palms tightly together for ten seconds. The firm pressure can reduce tension and stimulate calming nerve pathways.
C. Lie beneath a weighted blanket or rest a heavy pillow across your torso. The consistent, gentle pressure mimics deep touch stimulation, helping your nervous system downshift naturally.
8. Create a “Nervous System First Aid Kit”
Waiting until you’re overwhelmed to seek regulation makes the process harder. Having a pre-prepared kit lets you respond quickly and effectively.
A. Include noise-canceling headphones or earplugs to block overstimulating environments immediately when you feel triggered.
B. Keep a small smooth stone or a favorite scent, like peppermint or lavender essential oil, within reach to quickly access tactile or olfactory grounding.
C. Have a curated playlist of nostalgic or calming music, alongside a weighted eye mask, to help your nervous system shift states with minimal effort.
9. Practice Orienting, Not Just Grounding
When anxiety or dissociation strike, grounding by itself isn’t always enough. Orienting — a more active, sensory-rich process — tells your brain it is safe where it is.
A. Slowly scan your environment and name colors, textures, or shapes you see. This focused attention helps rebuild connection to the here-and-now.
B. Observe where natural or artificial light enters the room, noticing its warmth or direction. Light is a subtle but powerful cue for orientation.
C. Identify at least five distinct sounds around you. Bringing auditory awareness into the mix reinforces the message that you are present and safe.
10. Learn to “Downshift” at Night, Not Just Sleep
Sleep hygiene often focuses on falling asleep faster, but the crucial step is downshifting your nervous system well before sleep.
A. Dim or turn off overhead lights an hour before bed to cue melatonin release and begin calming your system gradually.
B. Engage in gentle, rhythmic rocking movements — like sitting on a yoga ball or swaying slowly in a chair — to mimic womb-like sensations that promote relaxation.
C. Listen to bilateral soundtracks that alternate tones in each ear to soothe hypervigilance and quiet racing thoughts before you even lie down.
Why This Matters
Trauma and chronic stress physically rewire the brain and body. Self-care in these cases isn’t indulgent — it’s survival work. These practices aren’t about “fixing” you. They’re about building a toolkit for resilience and repair in a world that doesn’t always make room for nervous system care.
Try This: Body Check-In and Reset Exercise
This activity helps you slow down, notice what’s happening in your body, and gently guide your nervous system back to a calmer state. It only takes a few minutes and can be done anywhere — at your desk, on your couch, or even outside.
Step 1: Find a Comfortable Position
Sit or lie down in a way that feels supported but alert. If possible, keep your feet flat on the floor or ground, and rest your hands somewhere you can easily notice them—like on your lap or your belly.
Step 2: Take Three Slow, Deep Breaths
Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four, feeling your belly expand. Hold the breath for a moment. Then exhale gently through your mouth for a count of six. Repeat this two more times, focusing on the sensation of the breath moving in and out.
Step 3: Scan Your Body From Head to Toe
Starting at the top of your head, slowly bring your attention down through your body. Notice any areas of tension, tightness, or discomfort without trying to change them. Simply observe. Maybe your jaw feels clenched, or your shoulders are raised. Perhaps your stomach is fluttering or your feet feel heavy.
Step 4: Send Soothing Attention to Those Areas
Imagine breathing warmth and calm into those tight or uncomfortable spots. You might silently say to yourself, “It’s okay to relax,” or “I’m safe here.” If it helps, gently place a hand on that area, like your chest or belly, to provide comforting touch.
Step 5: Engage Your Senses to Ground Yourself
Look around and name five things you can see. Listen for four sounds nearby. Notice three things you can touch or feel. Identify two scents or smells in the air. And finally, recognize one taste or simply the feeling of your mouth and tongue.
Step 6: Take One More Deep Breath and Slowly Open Your Eyes
Notice how you feel now. Even a small shift toward calmness is a win
At KMA Therapy, we believe in care that meets you where you actually are — not where a glossy magazine says you should be. Real self-care often looks less like luxury and more like small, deliberate acts of nervous system tending. And it makes a difference.
If you’re craving support in building your own trauma-informed self-care toolkit, our therapists are ready to help.Book a free 15-minute discovery call with one of our registered therapists — and join our DBT Group Therapy waitlist today.
