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Kimberly In The Media

Tips for Relieving Anger

kmaAnger. It’s an emotion we all feel, but often don’t know how to cope with effectively. We live within a culture where expression of anger can be taboo, and may times we aren’t taught how to constructively and healthily deal with it. Here are a few tips on how we can harness our anger.

Relax. Anger is a physical and mental state of arousal, so the best way to relieve it is to dissipate the feeling.  Find your happy place. I know it sounds cliché, but it works. You can do this by counting to ten or focusing on your breath. There is a wide range of self-help books that teach relaxation techniques.

You can also choose to find a hobby that relaxes you. Many people think exercise is a good way to release anger, but it all depends on how much. Since anger is partly an aroused physical state, exercise can increase this arousal, thus not alleviating it, but rather increasing it. However, if you exercise to the point of being tired, it can help because you have removed the state of arousal.

Change your perspective. Rather than getting mad at someone being late, give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe there was a delay on the transit, or an unexpected road closure. Instead of jumping into anger, try to look at things logically and rationally. Getting angry won’t make you feel any better about things, so try and re-evaluate the situation so that you’re not upset about it.

You can also alter the situation in order to avoid triggers. For example, if you find yourself constantly getting upset when grocery shopping, be it because of long lines or crowded isles, try going at a different time or on a different day. To some extent, we must be proactive about avoiding what makes us angry.

More to consider. A lot of us think that venting will help relieve our anger. But venting can often lead to the opposite effect. By spending excess amounts of time talking about the incident, you are reliving it and just reliving the anger. Think of it as adding fuel to the fire. It’s best to avoid ruminating about the event, and to accept and move on. This isn’t to say that you should bottle it up. Holding in your anger can be very unhealthy and has led to documented cases of heart disease. This is why it is so important to accept your anger and face it head on, rather than brushing it under the rug.

Let’s not forget that anger can be positive. It can motivate us to stand up for what we believe in; puts that fire in our bellies. But when it comes to the point that where we find ourselves being frequently perturbed, it may be time to try some of these tips or even see a therapist if you find that it is affecting your everyday life.

About Kimberly Moffit

Kimberly Moffit is the founder of KMA Therapy and one of Canada's most experienced media relationship experts. She achieved her doctoral degree in Psychology from Middlesex University UK, her Master's Degree from Wilfrid Laurier University, and her Undergraduate degree from the University of Guelph. She has a thriving YouTube channel, "Ask Kimbery," where she gives bite-sized relationship tips. She also has a passion for entrepreneurship and women in business. Kimberly has one primary goal for KMA: To change the traditional view of therapy to one that's modern, normalized, and enjoyable for all.


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