Why Sexual Communication Means Sexual Satisfaction

< back to blogs
Published Date|
September 19, 2014

Why Sexual Communication Means Sexual Satisfaction

Sexual communication is a key element in achieving satisfying sex!

In fact, sex researchers at Carleton University found that greater sexual communication is related to higher sexual satisfaction and sexual pleasure. So talking with your partner about the sex you’ve had and the sex you’d like to have is a great way to set an erotic mood and increase the likelihood of having great sex.

It is very important to communicate with one another during sex and let each other know what feels good and what isn’t so hot for you. For example “I like it when you do that… do it more” or “I prefer it when we do it like …” or with subtle encourages like “oh yeah’ and “uh huh”.

Our bodies are all unique and respond differently to various sexual stimulation so it’s really important to let our partners know what we like and also listen to what their preferences are.

If you aren’t enjoying something your partner is doing during sex, a supportive and open way to communicate this can be to say something positive about what you do like and then offer a direction for something that you’d like done differently. For example, “I really like the pressure you are using. Could you move just a little to the right” or “It feels really good where you are touching me. Could you try a circular motion?”

This communication strategy helps to keep the feedback constructive and avoids bruising your partner’s ego.

To spice things up try sharing a fantasy or describe something you have seen in erotica that was intriguing to you. Discuss what you liked about it, what was hot and what wasn’t so hot. Or as an alternative, I suggest that you and your partner take turns recounting a memory of a particularly pleasurable sexual experience you had together.

Describe specifically what you both did that was so exciting.

This can be a great way to open up the lines of communication about your sexual preferences while stroking your partners’ ego. You can do this by saying things like “Remember that time that we… I really loved when you were doing…”Having trouble coming up with fantasies of sexual memories? Try reading some erotic fiction out loud to one another! Erotic fiction is a great way to bring in some ideas about new sex acts you’d like to experiment with. It also can act as a great conversation starter, by bringing up some of the things that sexually interest you.So get talking with one another and enjoy more satisfying sex!


Menard, A. D. & Offman, A. (2009). The interrelationships between sexual self-esteem, sexual assertiveness and sexual satisfaction. The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 18(1-2), 35-45.

Author |
Sex and Intimacy
Date Night
Dating and Relationships
Couples Counselling
Tools and Tricks
KMA Therapy

Register Online

Thank you! Your submission has been received!
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.

Or, are you all set and ready to book?

Choose from available times and book your intake now.

Ontario's Premier Counselling Practice

Therapy has been proven to increase happiness, reduce anxiety, and increase overall fulfillment. Our team of specialized therapists are here to help you work through the issues that are important to you.