As weeks pass by, some things get easier while some only get harder day by day. I have become accustomed to not seeing my boyfriend on a daily basis. Surprisingly, this was not as hard as I expected, maybe because I was mentally prepared for it? However, as we embarked on this new journey, we still continued to face challenges with many aspects of our relationship, particularly our communication and trust. While my life has remained the same (minus him, of course!), he is now in a new environment with new people, which are two things that are foreign to me. Although I get a daily update on everything, I find it difficult to understand and empathize with him. I often have to be mindful when I talk to him that he is going through something that I donâ€™t always understand. I try to control my emotions, but this has been the hardest part!
On a more positive note, I think the distance is allowing us to grow as individuals. We have always complemented each other in that we both made up for each otherâ€™s weaknesses. However, now that we have limited time to allot towards each other, we have to find our own way through things, and grow as individuals. We also seem to be becoming more patient with each other. As we both acknowledge that we are facing our own struggles due to distance, we are more understanding of each otherâ€™s feelings, and we wait for each other to express ourselves.
If you are also beginning a long-distance relationship with your partner, my advice would be to make goals with your partner. In the remaining 19 months we are apart, we have decided that he is going to visit me four times, I am going to graduate with a masterâ€™s degree, and we are going to â€˜discloseâ€™ our relationship to our families. Sometimes, it seems like 19 months may be too short of a period for all of these big milestones! Being a counsellor in-training, I would also suggest you be mindful about what you have right now. While our plans are not fixed, we hope that this distance is only temporary, which also means that I may only have a few more months of â€˜freedomâ€™ to spend time with my family. It is time for me to divert my attention towards my family and myself for a few months because who knows whatâ€™s next? I guess its time for me to count my blessings, rather than dwell on what I donâ€™t have.
By: Nikita Singh
Nikita Singh is a graduate from the University of Toronto who is currentlyÂ pursuing a Masters of Arts in Counselling Psychology from Yorkville University. Her future goal is to have her own private practice specializing in marriage and couples counselling.