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Kimberly In The Media

Happiness Today, NOT Tomorrow

While I was scrubbing my white stove the other day, hating the outdated piece of metal, which is a master of accumulating dirt, I thought of how much I wanted a really nice, new stove. After all, new stoves do not have removable burners, often are stainless steel, and cleaning it would be so much easier. But I had to stop and remind myself that I should really appreciate my terrible stove.

Why? By all objective measures, this stove is terrible. However, the apartment is nicer then my previous one. If I am honest, I am much happier with my overall living situation now then I was previously. I have a balcony, a great location, a room with no mold, and an entryway! But I also have to deal with an incredibly outdated, uneven, permanently disfigured, white stove. However, when I widen my perspective and look the whole situation, the stove isn’t so horrible compared to all the other benefits. (Point 1: Widen perspective)

I also dream about the day I can have a larger kitchen with an open-concept floor plan and windows that bring in sunlight. As someone who loves HGTV, I can say that I have thought about the beauty of this dream kitchen in quite a bit of detail. However, the cost of this kitchen is far beyond my current financial capacities.

In thinking about my future, I will probably be finished with my schooling and working full-time. Likely my schedule will not be as flexible as it currently is, so I will be home less often. This will diminish my ability to enjoy my dream kitchen. Also, this dream kitchen will likely not be in my current (small) apartment with a beautiful balcony view. This dream kitchen will also create more cleaning for me to do due to its larger size. And so, if I am truthful about this dream kitchen, it comes with quite a few legitimate downfalls. This leads to my second point, which is that there are always compromises to every decision. (Point 2: There are always compromises)

Lastly, I know this seems odd given all the complaining I have just done about my stove, but I actually enjoy the act of cleaning. I find the immediate results of having something go from being dirty to clean gratifying. It may be the nature of my profession, or the way of the world, but most moments in my day I can’t immediately alter. When I’m cleaning my stove, I can focus my attention on the task at hand and tune out the world for a little while. That is not to say that cleaning the stove is extremely gratifying because it’s not, but when I choose to see the positives in the cleaning and be in the present moment, the entire act is better. (Point 3: Think positively and in the moment)

My life is not stress-free enough that my stove is the biggest problem I have. However, it is a part of my daily life and I believe there are legitimate lessons to be learned from this comical analogy. We can all do more to think more broadly about our current situation, realize that there is not a perfect future with no issues, and have a more optimistic outlook while being in the present moment. This perspective can be helpful in matters of dating, friendship, occupational distress, and other life situations. Because, while my kitchens may change over my lifespan, if I am not able to do these three things, I will never fully be happy. Let’s try to enjoy today, dirtiness and all, and not wait for tomorrow!

By: Sara Pishdadian

Sara Pishdadian is a graduate student studying Clinical Psychology at York University. You can follow her on twitter to hear more about her research interests https://twitter.com/sarapishdadian.
About Sara Pishdadian

Sara Pishdadian is a graduate student studying Clinical Psychology at York University. You can follow her on twitter to hear more about her research interests https://twitter.com/sarapishdadian.


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