Author Archives: Meghan Rego

About Meghan Rego

Meghan an administrative assistant at KMA Therapy. Meghan is in her final year at York University, completing a B.A. in Psychology and Criminology.

Procrastination: Tips to Stop Waiting and Start Doing!

Infinity time spiral 15267876“I”ll do it later.” – the anthem of the procrastinator. Too often later never comes around or we wait so long that we have to scramble to get things done. Procrastination can be the monkey on your back that you feel you just can’t shake off. The best thing to do is to understand why you are procrastinating and work from there.

There can be numerous reasons for procrastination. One may feel as though they do not have the skills or tools needed to complete the task, so it is put off. The task could also seem unimportant, thus lacking the motivational qualities for you to start working on it. Another common reason for procrastination is a fear of the outcome. You may have been in the same situation before and things turned out poorly, so, you are avoiding the outcome by avoiding the task. On the other hand, it may be that you have no clue what the end result will be, thus you are steering away from the potentially perilous unknown. What is important here is to note that the act of procrastination varies between tasks and people. We don’t procrastinate on everything and we don’t always procrastinate on the same thing in the same way. So how can you decrease the possibility of procrastination? Know yourself.

One of the best things to do is to NOT label yourself a procrastinator. We tend to act in self-confirming ways. So if you think you’re a procrastinator, you will procrastinate. The second thing to do is to recognize why you are procrastinating and correct the issue. If you think the task is too boring, find meaning in it. Yes, the 12 page essay on cyberbullying may be tedious, but consider all of the information you will gain that will help you keep your future children protected from it. If you feel like you are lacking a skill, see this as an alarm to spring into action and find the proper resources to solve that issue.

By changing your perspective of procrastination so that it is an alert rather that a barrier, you can change your slacker ways into proactive ones.

Failure: How to Cope and Why it’s OK

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Failing is an experience that most of us will have to endure at one time or another. We often have a difficult time dealing with it, but we need to realize that failing isn’t all bad. Failure, although painful and potentially humiliating, hosts it’s fair share of benefits.

 

One of the main benefits of failure is that it cultivates empathy. We all fail at one time or another and we can use our failures to connect with those around us through similar experience. What is also important is that you direct that empathy inward toward yourself. People tend to be their own worst critic, which can lead to an unhealthy anger toward yourself when you fail at something. But consider this: If a friend failed a test, you wouldn’t scold them. Instead, you would comfort them. You should extend the same courtesy to yourself.

Changing your point of view about failing is critical to healthily coping with it. Regarding a failure as an objective experience that has taught you a lesson can help lessen the blow of not achieving what was expected. This simple reframing and acceptance that things may not always go as planned can go a long way.

Failure is the darkness needed to see the light; without it you cannot appreciate what you do have. It has a humbling effect. Without failure, one can become egotistical, shallow and insensitive, as they have not had the opportunity to develop empathetic qualities. So do not envy those who do not fail, as they have failed in more subtle and indirect ways; in the way of character development.

Failing can be disappointing, but remember that it teaches us and molds us into the perseverant and strong individuals we want to be. So go forward not fearing failure, but embracing it, for it may be the beginning of something new and better!

Achieve Your Goals! Tips for Goal Setting

ladder 1When there is a big enough discrepancy between what a person is and what a person wants to be, we tend to set goals in order to get to that ideal state. Unfortunately, we often don’t know where to start or how to go about setting up a plan that will lead us to attaining those goals.  Here are a few things to think about when goal setting.

We need to consider the level of difficulty and the specificity of our goals.  The difficulty of a goal is what energizes our behaviour. We need to make sure that our goals are difficult enough that we know it will make us exert effort, otherwise, let the procrastination begin.  Nothing worth doing is easy. We also need to be specific in terms of what we have to do and how we will do it. This directs our behaviour and decreases ambiguity. If we know exactly what we have to do, we are more likely to do it because it removes any guessing; like following a recipe.

And like a recipe, we need to follow small steps in order to get to the desired result. Set small goals that will help you get to your final goal. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

We need to remember that this is a dynamic process. Too often we sit down, create a plan, and when things don’t go as we expected, we see it as a failure. This is not the case! Things happen and we have to adjust our plans accordingly, rather than giving up.

Feedback! It is essential to document your actions in order to make goal setting effective.  You can use the record to make sure you are keeping on track. Also, by having something to look at to see your progress, you create emotional importance for yourself in relation to your goals.  If your performance is greater or at par with what you expected, it creates a sense of satisfaction which can lead to you creating new, more difficult goals. If your performance is less than expected, it can motivate you to increase your effort in order for you to reach your goal.

Setting goals is something we all do, but we don’t all do well. By creating small, specific and difficult goals, we can create a ladder that will raise us up to where we want to be. And by taking note of out progress we can properly adjust our plan to make sure we achieve our goal.

How to Make a GREAT First Impression

Handshake“First impressions are everything!”

We’ve all heard this, and although it may be a bit of an exaggeration, it does hit the point that first impressions have a lasting effect on relationships, regardless of their type. We tend to make up our mind about someone within the first 15 seconds of meeting them, meaning how we initially present ourselves can be crucial. Here are a few tips to keep in mind, whether you’re going on a first date or a job interview.

Be aware of yourself.

In first meetings our anxiety can to take over and we can lose ourselves, sometimes not even remembering what we said. Stop and take a breath. Be aware of your body and speech. Make sure you’re sitting up straight and avoid jittering. Also, be sure you’re not talking too fast. Be calm and make eye contact, both of which will radiate confidence.

Don’t forget to ask questions. People love talking about themselves, but remember that this is an opportunity to not only to present yourself, but also to get to know someone else. If at a job interview, make sure you have read up on the company, and have a couple questions ready. Being inquisitive will show initiative.

Be your best self.

A first encounter is an opportunity to put your best self forward and show off what you are, rather than lying or covering up what you’re not. It is all about putting your best foot forward. This is where dressing well plays a role. Dress for the job you want. If you think you shouldn’t wear it, you probably shouldn’t. Also, keep in mind that mood is temporary. So if you are in a bad one, it would be best to set it aside and allow for your best self to shine through!

Remember to relax.

Who knows you better than you? A positive first impression is perfectly attainable if you remember that there is no need to be nervous! At the end of the day you are presenting yourself and you are an expert on you. And if you can’t quiet the butterflies, use them! They just mean that you care about the result, which shows you that you’re in the right place. Just prepare the main points you would like to talk about, and stay cool, calm and collected. If you do feel like you may have been less of yourself, don’t be afraid to acknowledge it! We all have off days, so don’t be too hard on yourself if your first impression seems to be a bit out of your norm.

First impressions are important, but they are not everything.

5 Signs You’re Dating a Psychopath

Dating a psychopath is more likely than you think!

About 1% of the population suffers from psychopathy, meaning in a town of about 100,000 people, 1000 are psychopaths. It is important to mention that psychopathy is a personality disorder made up of specific characteristics and can only be diagnosed by a psychologist or psychiatrist. But even if you’re not dating a psychopath per se, these are some traits to be weary about in a partner.

Extremely Charming and Over the Top

A Psychopath will shower you with gifts and compliments, and make you like you’re the only one in the world. Being extremely charming is good way of getting people to fall in love with you, and this characteristic is also what enable a psychopath to control or manipulate you.

Manipulative

Psychopaths tend to be able to get their way. They turn their ideas into your ideas in such a subtle way that you have no idea that it has happened. Ever confronted your partner about something they did to upset you, but you end up being the one apologizing? This may be a sign you’re dating a psychopath.

No Sense of Responsibility

Pyschopaths tend to deny responsibility for their actions. They end up blaming you, saying that your actions lead to them to acting they way they did. And they honestly believe that they did nothing wrong due to lack of remorse.

Risky Behaviour

Psychopaths can’t grasp the idea of punishment and this will lead to doing things that puts them and you at risk. This can be dangerous behaviour, promiscuity, cheating, drugs, and so on. Definitely behaviours you should avoid!

Big Ego

Most psychopaths have a sense of grandeur. Your needs come second because actually believe that you are less important. You are there to serve their needs. As long as you are doing that, why would the person put any effort into helping you grow as an individual?

All of these are some tell tale signs that you could be dating a psychopath. But don’t take my work for it! Listen to Kim!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yz9LaOJAghI

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